A mother grieves the loss of her son in a farm accident and struggles to connect with her newborn.
The accident happened on Bentley Hall Road. Albie visited the farm every other weekend. Leah dropped him off that morning, July 16th. Leah met Speakman at the farm entrance around 9 am.
Speakman and Albie ran errands. They returned to the farm. Albie played in the garden, throwing sticks for the dogs, while Speakman did farm tasks.
Speakman used a telehandler to move woodchip bags. He reversed the machine, then felt a thud, like hitting a brick. He then saw Albie’s legs. It was a terrible tragedy.
Speakman rushed Albie inside. Albie went to the hospital, but he did not survive. The family grapples with immense pain as they try to rebuild their lives.
Leah relives that day constantly, feeling trapped in her grief. In 2023, she had another son, Ebon. Leah struggled to look at Ebon, fearing he would look like Albie.
Leah said it feels like yesterday, her mind unable to move past the horror. She wonders about Albie’s last moments, if he felt fear, and is distraught she wasn’t there. She thinks about it every day.
Speakman faced trial and admitted breaching safety laws by not ensuring Albie’s safety. He denied gross negligence manslaughter.
Speakman said the event was a tragic accident and that he messed up. He called it a split-second human error that ruined his life.
The telehandler was faulty and failed safety standards, posing a risk to people nearby. The prosecution said Albie died from his father’s negligence, creating a risk of death. Jurors cleared Speakman of manslaughter. He awaits sentencing for the safety breach.
Leah expressed her heartbreak and feels Albie was let down. She is very disappointed and does not know what to do next.
Leah remembers that warm summer day. She always arrived early to chat in the car. They said goodbye in the car before she drove to the end of the farm lane where Speakman would pick Albie up.
She does not remember saying goodbye well. Speakman then called her, crying. It was a blur. He said, “It’s Albie, it’s Albie.” She knew something was wrong. He said to come to the hospital. She asked if he lived. He said, “No, he’s dead.”
Leah thought it was a joke. Her mother thought the same. Police taped off the road at the hospital. She knew it was not a joke.
Leah worked at Albie’s nursery. Everything afterward was a blur. She left her job because the reminders were too painful. She cannot enter Albie’s old room.
Everything stopped for her, while everyone else carried on. Albie’s room has a “Buddy Bench” and a memorial star on the wall. She tries to avoid the room.
Albie loved adventures and the beach. He loved balls and doughnuts. Leah misses him deeply and moved to Radcliffe, closer to Albie’s resting place.
She left his things untouched, saving the uneaten cornflakes. His things are packed in the attic. She carries his jumper for comfort.
She just exists. She does not want to die, but she has to shop and do things to keep going. She works six days each week to keep her distracted, then feels guilty about Ebon.
Ebon goes to the cemetery with her. She wonders when to tell him, or if he already knows. Albie would turn six soon. She wonders what gifts he would want. He is stuck at three years old; Albie is Ebon’s older brother, and soon Ebon will be older.
Leah stays strong for Ebon. He is 19 months old. She struggles to leave him with others, texting Ebon’s dad constantly, asking for pictures all the time. She feels anxious. Ebon is her reason for living.