Leah Bridge speaks of loss and grief after her three-year-old son Albie’s death in a farm accident.
Leah spoke about her constant pain. She also shared that she had another son. “It feels like yesterday,” Leah said. She feels stuck in time, and wonders if Albie was scared.
Leah had another son, Ebon. She struggled to look at Ebon initially, fearing he would resemble Albie too much. “I didn’t look at him for ages,” she explained, worried about his appearance.
Ebon’s middle name honors Albie. Leah always carries Albie’s jumper. It reminds her of her “sunshine boy.” The jumper was taken from the wash after his death.
Leah relives the day Albie died. She left his cornflakes untouched for months. Albie died in July 2022 when a defective telehandler hit him. Neil, Albie’s dad, drove it. Albie stayed with Neil on weekends.
Leah met Neil at the farm entrance. Neil took Albie to run errands. They returned to the farm around 11:45 am, and Albie played while Neil did chores.
Neil moved woodchips with the telehandler. Albie threw sticks for the dogs. Neil reversed and felt a thud, realizing he hit something. Albie was rushed to the hospital and died that afternoon.
Neil went on trial. He admitted a health and safety breach but denied gross negligence manslaughter. He said it was a “tragic accident.” The telehandler was defective.
Neil was cleared of manslaughter. He will be sentenced for the safety breach. Leah spoke after the trial, stating that she and her family are heartbroken.
“I feel Albie was let down,” she stated. She doesn’t know what to do next and relives the last day, remembering saying “bye” to Albie.
Neil called Leah, crying and said, “It’s Albie, it’s Albie.” Leah knew something was wrong. Neil said Albie was dead. Leah thought it was a joke.
At the hospital, police were present, and she realized it wasn’t a joke. Leah worked at Albie’s nursery. She left her job due to the reminders and cannot enter Albie’s old room.
“Everything stopped for me,” she said. She couldn’t function normally. Albie’s bench and star are in his room, which she avoids.
Albie was a funny, happy boy who liked adventures and balls. He is buried at Radcliffe Cemetery. Leah moved to Radcliffe to be closer and didn’t touch Albie’s things after he died.
Albie’s belongings sit vacuum-packed now. Leah always carries his unwashed jumper.
Leah said she just exists day to day. She tries to stay distracted and works many jobs. Now, she feels guilty about time with Ebon and takes Ebon to the cemetery.
Albie would be six this year, but he’s still three in her mind. Soon, Ebon will be older than Albie. It doesn’t make sense to her.
Leah stays strong for Ebon, who is 19 months old. She worries when he’s with his dad, needing photos and updates constantly. Ebon is her reason to keep going.
Leah wrote a statement for court. Her world shattered after Albie’s death, and words cannot describe her feelings. She feels broken and stuck.
Two years passed, but it doesn’t get easier. She feels unseen in her grief. Darkness will always exist in her life, and she feels guilty for still being alive.
She wished she could trade places with Albie. Albie was her life. She dedicated everything to him and fears forgetting his voice and smell.
She can’t imagine being truly happy again, and it’s a scary thought. She feels like she’s waiting to die and is sad Ebon won’t meet Albie.
She promises to keep Albie’s memory alive. Each day, the pain continues. She misses watching Albie play.
Albie is her everything. She looks forward to seeing him again. “I love you,” she wrote. “My sunshine boy.”