Writer’s club- Merryn and Bethan

//Writer’s club- Merryn and Bethan
Inspiration for our writing

Inspiration for our writing

The market place was silent. No smoke came from the chimneys. No-one was in the streets, or in pubs and the warm glow of the village was put out by the ringing bells in the distance. The sad slow ringing echoed through the village. The people stood there motionless and staring in dismay at the fire. The fire burning the body of their king. The princess was staring down at the gold mask placed upon her father’s face. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she stared at the people she would now have to rule over. I stood opposite her and stared at her beautiful face, she looked back at me my father called me “William come your mother needs you NOW!” He said firmly “Hazel is ill!”

By | 2017-06-21T09:01:42+00:00 January 29th, 2015|Pupil Blog|25 Comments

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25 Comments

  1. Mrs Alcock February 3, 2015 at 12:26 pm - Reply

    Wow! What a brilliant piece of writing! I love the use of descriptive language and how you have cleverly varied the length of your sentences to build tension and paint a really vivid picture of the scene. I want to know what happens next!

  2. Millie February 3, 2015 at 1:48 pm - Reply

    what happens what happens. yoiur story makes me desperate to know. brilliant vocabulary. have fun continuing writng

  3. Abi February 3, 2015 at 1:51 pm - Reply

    love your story girls :-) can wait to see what happens next, your story makes me hve goosebumps, what will happen to hazel ;-)

  4. Millie February 3, 2015 at 1:58 pm - Reply

    great story keep it up because i want to know what happens

  5. Mrs Waugh February 3, 2015 at 2:19 pm - Reply

    What a fantastic piece of writing, well done! Your description of the market place makes me feel as if I’m really there. I now want to know what happens next.

  6. jessica February 3, 2015 at 8:12 pm - Reply

    I love the it!!! well done girls

  7. Miss Wearne February 3, 2015 at 8:36 pm - Reply

    What a great opening. There are so many unanswered questions, it makes you want to read on and find out more.

  8. Mr Whitfield February 3, 2015 at 8:57 pm - Reply

    You should both be very proud of the start of your story! Using the virtual world as your inspiration has meant you have created an engaging and tense first paragraph. I like how you have managed to introduce many characters and a variety of emotions for the reader. Keep up the good work!

  9. steve dawe February 4, 2015 at 7:16 pm - Reply

    well done the start of the story is amazing….

  10. MISS COOK February 5, 2015 at 1:41 pm - Reply

    A fantastic piece of writing. I love your use of empty words, and the way you have really created the still atmosphere. The short sentence opener you have used has a great impact too- well done! I might share this with my Y6 children in my school as it is National Storytelling week, and see what they come up with!!

  11. Taryn February 6, 2015 at 2:40 pm - Reply

    Great opening to the story! It really makes me want to read on. The setting is described very well. There is a lot of witheld information which I really want to know about. It makes you ask so many questions.

  12. Evie February 6, 2015 at 2:47 pm - Reply

    This is a really great story! You have a good choice of vocabulary! You should do a follow up to this story, I would love to find out what happens to William and Hazel :D

  13. Sophie February 6, 2015 at 2:51 pm - Reply

    I love this because it instantly makes me read on and so many questions pop into my head!

  14. Bryony February 6, 2015 at 2:52 pm - Reply

    I really want to know what happens next! This is a really great opener and if it were part of a whole book I would definitely read it! :)

  15. Joey February 6, 2015 at 2:56 pm - Reply

    Lovely paragraph girls! i loved your deccriptive writing and the unanswered question. Keep up the good work! Tip: try to have a wider variety of openers- don’t overuse the!

  16. Sophie February 8, 2015 at 5:47 pm - Reply

    Hi merryn and Bethan great story please leave more I wanna know what happens next

    • merryn and bethan February 26, 2015 at 2:29 pm - Reply

      hello sophie!! our story has not been updated on the website yet. we are working on it though

  17. merryn and bethan February 26, 2015 at 2:29 pm - Reply

    thanks for the lovly comments :)

  18. Gabby February 26, 2015 at 2:29 pm - Reply

    sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool

  19. merryn and bethan February 26, 2015 at 2:29 pm - Reply

    typo!!!

  20. merryn and bethan February 26, 2015 at 5:31 pm - Reply

    Thanks for all the amazing comments:)
    We have written our story but we can not update it on the website:(
    However if using have questions (u can ask a maximum of 3) we will answer them

  21. merryn and bethan February 26, 2015 at 5:38 pm - Reply

    Thanks for all your comments

  22. gabriella March 3, 2015 at 1:49 pm - Reply

    great story it is amazing good job what happens next

  23. merryn and bethan March 5, 2015 at 8:15 pm - Reply

    We can not uploaded story but don’t worry because we can answer your questions. So get asking :)

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