Jess and Beth’s story

//Jess and Beth’s story

Jabawockey

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The evil Jabawockey

Chapter one

The royal family had ruled the land for many centuries, and one of the myths they believed in was that there was a jabawockey. The jabawockey came once every five years! One lovely night, the queen gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and she called her little girl Poppy. But a few nights later she gave birth to a baby boy and called him Richard.

Chapter two

But two months later the jabawockey arrived, the alarms rang and everyone got underground like they had been doing before. The jabawockey destroyed everything is sight including the castle, but they thought the jabawockey was still there 2 year later!   But it had gone long ago!When they had come out of where they were staying, there was nothing left of the whole village!

By |2017-06-21T09:01:42+00:00February 5th, 2015|Pupil Blog|12 Comments

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12 Comments

  1. Mrs Alcock February 5, 2015 at 7:03 pm - Reply

    A great start to your story, well done! I like the way you use chapters to organise your writing and it helps to build the tension. I’d love to know if the people get their revenge on the evil jabawockey and what happened to Poppy and Richard!

    • jess February 10, 2015 at 1:16 pm - Reply

      thanks

  2. Joey February 6, 2015 at 2:51 pm - Reply

    Good story guys! i liked your use of chapters. Maybe you could elongate them a little? set the scene a bit more? it’s your story though!

  3. Ms. T February 6, 2015 at 2:52 pm - Reply

    Wow! I want to know what happens next. Are you going to tell the story of what happened to the village?

  4. Bethany February 10, 2015 at 1:36 pm - Reply

    thank you
    We might explain about the village but we are trying to enter are story in the radio 2 500 words.
    We will try and set the scene a bit more
    thank you for your feedback

  5. bethany February 10, 2015 at 1:36 pm - Reply

    thanks for the feedback

  6. Lara February 10, 2015 at 1:54 pm - Reply

    Your story is great guys but maybe you could extend your chapters a bit more! :) good story though i like it!!! :) :) :)

  7. jess February 10, 2015 at 2:01 pm - Reply

    Richard was now two years old, and poppy was five years old.
    Richards dad said “The Jabawocky will not come back until another 5 years.”
    They went back into the new built castle and put poppy and Richard in bed. Late that night the king (Richards and poppys dad) heard a breathe off the jabawocky he said to himself “I MUST BE DREAMING.”
    But when he looked round he saw a showdow off the jabawocky….

  8. bethany February 10, 2015 at 4:50 pm - Reply

    Thank you Lara for your idea it will come in Handy with our story (Jess+Beth) and your story is good as well

  9. Mr Whitfield February 18, 2015 at 12:00 pm - Reply

    Jess and Beth your story is fantastic! I like all the time connectives you have used and all my friends at university think it is great you have used the famous Jabebrwocky and threaded it into your own story.
    We look forward to your next chapters hopefully now you can focus in detail on one or two characters.
    Best of luck.

  10. bethany February 21, 2015 at 12:19 pm - Reply

    Hello Mr Whitefield
    Its great you read mine and Jessica story people is really missing you at swanmead I really wanted you to stay and so did offer people is well.
    Say a great thank you to all the people who read our story.

  11. bethan February 26, 2015 at 6:13 pm - Reply

    Great beginning to a story :) well done!!
    I really wanna know more about the jabawocky!!
    Why did u have to leave it in suspense!! I wanna know Wat happens next!! If this was a book I would not be able to put it down right now :) :)

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